hello diary!
words flooded my brain in the bus,
but when i really faced my laptop,
im 'speechless'
i was drown in sorrows yesterday,
crying my eye glands out.
i was really upset with matters.
(actually im glad i have this chance to cry all out. HAHAHA )
because, the longer i hold it inside, the more terrible i will be.
with the swollen eyes, messy hair and bloated body
i went to work.
okay, i swear i look hilarious, scary and zombish.
but i still need to work right.
more blisters and more cuts.
im keeping problems that i faced in work away from this place.
im glad my mood was lighten during work.
they didn't ask what happen. but i felt that concern.
their jovial mood and laughters just makes me felt, awww im not alone surviving all this . . .
okay okay!
idk why, but im blur to the maxmax.
every seconds.
however, life still goes on right.
grrr,
it's hilarious, some
it's frustrating, always.
so, i got this coat from Espirit
on my dad's bdae.
ahem, he paid.
i know, sounds wrong right.!
and soooooooooooooooooooo,
forever, i just camwhore with it.
WHAO, bel's great with angle.
so pretty right.
the purple just match my dress.
HAHAHA
heeheehee,
i know i know,
i can bend even more okay
but im old already.
muscle starting to harden.
actually i feel,
in this few months, i really experience a lot a lot.
some experiences, i never thought that i need to experience it. but i did.
and it's major suckiness.
but no matter that, time passes.
no matter how dread things maybe, it will still go away.
nowadays, i have try to look on the other side,
think another path.
i try to make the path wider and just bear with everything.
everything i feel was wrong at first, but no they're right.
it's just the way i think.
but im changing.
i really don't understand why must i experience all this shits now,
but thought maybe all this boohas emotions are giving a chance to just grow up
and had a feel on what's life going to be like in future.
the determination in giving a thought what i really want to do in future.
it's hard right.
but we've choices!
all this while,
all this brain-growing up or maturing stages.
i was never alone.
no matter how difficult i might be,
i never fail to have a few listening ears.
they never thought i was completely wrong,
they trust me, they really care for me.
and they are the ones that make me feel that, i should not be so strong-headed
they always gives me the chance to try and make mistakes and let me realise them giving me little solutions.
i was never alone.
okay, im stronger now.
thank you E, eh, sh, xl.
no matter, if i shared with you the current problems or not,
those lil calls and notes are sweet enough.
some says im sunshine because of my smile ( i think it's because of my teeth),
but i feel that without you, i can never be sunshine.
xoxo
R
