hello honeyss

recently life has been such a maze to me.
no matter how i walk myself through, i just can't seem to find the correct way to the correct exit
wonder is it becuase exams are coming. that's why i'm feeling this stressful feeling
or is it because i'm not feeling well, that's why i'm feeling low?
do you know it's so terrible to be sick? other than spending money, i can't eat all sorts of food!
even normal food like chicken and egg! ohhh man. can you feel how i'm feeling?
come back rebecca.
rahh!

and let me tell you one sad thing which happen to me yesterday.
after watching a movie- Quarantine with moonie yesterday. apparently, the movie sucks compared to Rec. so i would rather recommend you to watch Rec than Quarantine.
had a desire to go to town after school to have a walk and shop around Burberry since they are having sales now. and wanna to visit weidong too.
after texting most of my girl friends whom i think will be free, turn out that ALL OF THEM ARE HELD WITH THINGS ALREADY!
v- jap class
hk- work
wy- would rather go with her db friend, well well, they had it plan long time ago i guess, and she wouldn't want to walk around in town with a huge big bag.
wl- meeting somebody already
s-meeting somebody already
g- project
if i didn't ask you, most probably is because i'm squeezing my face to my pillow sceaming and crying, "why am i so bad on luck!"
i almost wanna to slap myself, thinking "TODAY'S NOT APRIL FOOL! what's wrong with everybody." i ponder, am i such a pathetic person. no friend? even to town just for a few hours? alright eugene asked me out, weidong comforted me too, by asking me out when that silly guy is working? but i want to be out with a girl! fine fine fine. i shall make more new girl friends. and pissed those girls too. by not going out with them.
fine, i'm childish! but at the same time i'm disappointed.
maybe because i asked them too late?
rah, whatever.
fine.
early this morning today, had fever. skip lesson. sat on my bed. wonder what am i going to do for the whole day. watch tv. did some revision. tv again. dinner and now i'm blogging.
WORST IS I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO FOCUS FOR MY MODULE EXAMS.
lost lost lost!
rebecca is lost!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
i need some directions.
SUDDEN THOUGHT
i squeezed my brain juice thinking of this question: " what is the big deal of becoming 18?"
reaching the age of 18, does it mean 18s can do things like frequent clubbing? drinking of beer? smoking? tell lies? being stubborn for everything and everything?
totally changed. totally disappointment. totally stranger. totally turned off. totally disguisted.
why is everybody changing. why is everybody not the same. why is everything so weird?
i must move on too. maybe i just don't understand or maybe because i've never treated anybody as a friend before? or they never treat me as their friend?
in the glass door.
don't understand.
never understood.
smile. on the blank face
pretty. more fashion shows.
money. hand out