''you never know if you'll live till tomorrow, so live the best today.''

seriously, the person who comes up with this is actually lying to him/herself.
Right, it's true we should live the best.
However sometimes no matter how you convince yourself that- 'oh YES, everything will be fine', 'everything will be smooth after you adapt to it.' But, no! That's not the case. If someone with the higher authority says no, you can't do this and blahblah that! So oh, are you still going to think that things will be nice and cool.

those people who only dares to say in front of somebody else and dare not fight back are such asshole cowards. seriously. And recently, ive seen so many.
And totally, those who fight back are those stupid ones, because you're going to suffer more!
And im the stupid one.

hello diary

if i didn't made the promise to JJ
i should be cursing and swearing here.
my blog is my only space where i can really type all frustrations+S here.
and receive no echoes.
gosh, please move me to the cave.
spell s-i-c-k
the big A attack me just. )):

nah, it's alright
im glad i didn't ask for your opinion either,
because you'll never pay attention to what i say with your stuffs going on.
You're still, just like a big child.

hello diary!

Finally had a time for myself during lunch break.
Yummy food! Because a hungry+tired lady is an angry lady! Ya, that's me. Hahaha.

had family gathering yesterday at granddad's house.
It's his bdae! Glad, that i can have this gathering, it's been so long. And i miss them all.
Didn't really had a chance to camwhore with my cousins.
however, im glad that they're all well.

Some idiot stole my slippers or whatever it is. It's lost! Idk why. It's not like it's studded with diamonds! And i only wore it for 5times or maybe 6times? It's so hateful.

Tata.

Xoxo
1

hello diary.

Im feeling, tired.
Just a simple word is not in fact right to describe how i feel. Maybe worst than terrible.

I thought everything's gonna be so much better now. Because i've been enlightened.
But in fact, it's never the case.

I told tingsin how i felt.
I told mum how things are.
I wanna call wd, but he's asleep by the time im home. (gosh, finally you're done with projects)

Can i just please punch something and scream my lungs out to the sea?

I caught 2012 just.
Was really into the movie.
It's was more than marvellous.
The everything and all.
Wow!

Really, i was thinking.
If world really end, all i wanna do is to call and speak to those i really love. And die.
If i had a chance to stay alive, without my family and friends, i rather die with them.

I realise from the movie that,
death is nothing serious or scary?
And money is not going to save your asses.

Ah huh, it might makes the world go round and improve the economic, but it's not really going to save you when the world is down.
You can't use the money and make into a gignatic titanium or whatever ship right.
So i would say, those moments of happiness and memories are really impt.

So what if you earn so much,
But when you mess everything up with your family and anything else,
Wouldn't i call that a loser?

Why live each day without being love?
I felt being loved each day.

Looking at how hard my dad try to survive and survive just for us,
Makes me feel awesome.
Looking at how sweet my mum prepared my lunch made me feel loved.

Money without spending it with family members are such a gigantic piece of shit!

Even ice cream and cool weather cannot extinguish that fire and heat in me.
I never felt so hating .... so much.
maybe when i wake up the next morning, i will feel better.
ohmigod! I never hold my anger that long, right after ice cream!


OO
R

Aw, goodnight all my loves.
Im so tired!
Shits to the 3 red dots on my face!

Enhua's coming back in 2 weeks time. Super excited.

When xl and i were talking about NDP,
I want to say that if i didn't join NDP,
I wouldn't meet those people there.
Everything would be of much simpler.
I would know lesser people, not forgetting those that hurts like a thornS. Before.
Though sometimes those memories still linger while im drying my hair. Mmmm, i guess it's past.
But im happy and glad to know people like,
JJ, alfred, and some motivators.
They're really awesome people.
And i really like them all.

Memories and feelings hold on still together with a tinge of emotions whenever these 2 particular persons fly past my conscious.
but still, i miss you most.

Hahaha, don't understand right!


xxoo
R

hello diary!

words flooded my brain in the bus,
but when i really faced my laptop,
im 'speechless'

i was drown in sorrows yesterday,
crying my eye glands out.
i was really upset with matters.
(actually im glad i have this chance to cry all out. HAHAHA )
because, the longer i hold it inside, the more terrible i will be.
with the swollen eyes, messy hair and bloated body
i went to work.
okay, i swear i look hilarious, scary and zombish.
but i still need to work right.

more blisters and more cuts.
im keeping problems that i faced in work away from this place.
im glad my mood was lighten during work.
they didn't ask what happen. but i felt that concern.
their jovial mood and laughters just makes me felt, awww im not alone surviving all this . . .





okay okay!
idk why, but im blur to the maxmax.
every seconds.
however, life still goes on right.
grrr,
it's hilarious, some
it's frustrating, always.

so, i got this coat from Espirit
on my dad's bdae.
ahem, he paid.
i know, sounds wrong right.!

and soooooooooooooooooooo,
forever, i just camwhore with it.

WHAO, bel's great with angle.



so pretty right.
the purple just match my dress.
HAHAHA


heeheehee,
i know i know,
i can bend even more okay
but im old already.
muscle starting to harden.




actually i feel,
in this few months, i really experience a lot a lot.
some experiences, i never thought that i need to experience it. but i did.
and it's major suckiness.
but no matter that, time passes.
no matter how dread things maybe, it will still go away.
nowadays, i have try to look on the other side,
think another path.
i try to make the path wider and just bear with everything.
everything i feel was wrong at first, but no they're right.
it's just the way i think.
but im changing.
i really don't understand why must i experience all this shits now,
but thought maybe all this boohas emotions are giving a chance to just grow up
and had a feel on what's life going to be like in future.
the determination in giving a thought what i really want to do in future.
it's hard right.
but we've choices!




all this while,
all this brain-growing up or maturing stages.
i was never alone.
no matter how difficult i might be,
i never fail to have a few listening ears.
they never thought i was completely wrong,
they trust me, they really care for me.
and they are the ones that make me feel that, i should not be so strong-headed
they always gives me the chance to try and make mistakes and let me realise them giving me little solutions.
i was never alone.
okay, im stronger now.
thank you E, eh, sh, xl.
no matter, if i shared with you the current problems or not,
those lil calls and notes are sweet enough.

some says im sunshine because of my smile ( i think it's because of my teeth),
but i feel that without you, i can never be sunshine.



xoxo
R

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!

im a fickle-minded person,
I regretted not making the right decision then.
When im considering about everything,
Those things we had been thru for years.
I feel that you're gone.
Im late, once again.

the time of the month, really came at the wrong time.
it came so suddenly, making me unprepared for the pain.
i was awaken by the pain.
I rolled all over my bed.
Had just 3 hours of sleep, and had to go to work.
I almost called 995.
I'm glad i made it for work.
I couldn't be absent due to the urgent unprepared work.
I managed to overcome the day.
I felt, older.

hello.

happy birthday daddy!
it was a blast.
everybody dressed up for this day.
we had dinner in vivo@ bosses
had this special shark fin which cost like $38 EACH?
marvellous.
AND!
daddy bought me a coat from Espirit which i wanted for soooooo long
isn't it fabulous going out with family?

xoxo
R

hello.

i miss going out
i miss camwhoring
i miss manicure
i miss having nice make-up on my face
i miss wearing pretty dresses
i miss my alilbit fat body
i miss my shopping
i miss going on holiday
i miss skipping school
i miss being crazy
i miss laughing like mad each day

most of all, i miss erin and chloe and hankee and abby.
plus enhua and weidong! i just met shunhong yesterday.
so it's pretty okay. :D

im going to change blog again
because im going to lock some posts.
that i blogged in future.
thus be prepared.
alert, only sexy bitches and naughty bastards will be informed about the password.
relax, sit back and act blur.

xoxo
r